My Ugly Truth

This is me.  All 238.2 pounds of me.  Do I like putting that number out here for the world to see?  Not a chance! But I'm hoping that by putting it out there, I will have a bit more accountability for sticking with my changes in food choices, switching to water instead of soda, and working out.

I have never been thin.  Well, I did own one dress that was a size 14 that fit for about a week, but that's as small as I've ever been as an adult. I don't know that I ever will BE thin, it's something most people in our family never achieve.  All I know is I never want to look like this again.

I can remember being "the fat kid" growing up.  It sucked. A LOT! Now, my daughter is almost five years old, going off to kindergarten in the fall.  If I don't do something to change my habits, I'm not doing anything to change hers, and there is a good chance she will suffer the same bullying I faced as a child.  Almost 30 years later, I still carry those scars with me. I want her to look back and have happy memories of growing up, not negative feelings about her classmates because of the names she was called and the fact that she was never accepted.

Not only do I not want her to be "the fat kid", I really don't want to be "the fat mom".  Kids suck sometimes. A child with overweight parents still gets teased because of how their family looks. So, with five months to go before her first day of school, I started my journey.  I don't expect to be done in that time, but I hope to feel better.

Oh, and the shirt I'm wearing, I am beyond ticked that it doesn't fit!  Seriously, I want to scream at myself for it! I started reading Bake & Destroy after Natalie was a judge on "Cupcake Wars" on Food Network.  I LOVE the name of her blog and she has some awesome goodies for sale!  When she posted that she was down to the last red shirt, I emailed her and scooped it up. Imagine the roller coaster of it coming in the mail and then trying it on only to see it look like this!  I WILL be able to wear this shirt to work by the end of the summer.  I hope to wear it much earlier, but as long as I can wear it, I'll be happy!