The Perfect Book Idea...

Jenny McCarthy had a great idea when she wrote "Belly Laughs". It was wonderful to read a book on pregnancy that I could relate to when I was pregnant with Bug.

When I was pregnant with Bubs and found out that my brother and his wife were expecting their first, I was ready with the advice to my brother. "Never tell her she's crying over nothing," was one of the first tidbits I had for him. I can't remember them all now, but there were quite a few things that should never be said to a pregnant woman, especially the one carrying your child!

Now, I have the sequel to that book, "101 Things to NEVER Say to the Mother of Your Children".  The idea for this comes from both Hubs' flubs as well as things I've heard other moms share in disbelief.  Here are a couple to get it started:

• "You get time to be yourself every night.  You put the kids to bed and then you're up for a couple of hours by yourself."  Men, if you're reading this, spending time alone probably isn't what your wife wants. She's more than likely hoping for some free time without children in tow. And just because our friends have kids that our kids play with doesn't mean we always want it to be a family affair!
• "Why didn't you get _____ done, you were home all day?" Please, please, please, do NOT say this to a stay at home mom! As a full-time work outside of the home mom, I can tell you, staying at home is FAR more stressful! Any woman who is strong enough to stay home with the kids and keep the house in any sort of order is strong enough to knock you down!

So, what would you add to this list?

Coming to a Crossroads

Like many marriages out there, I feel like we're currently sitting at a crossroads. I know I'm not at a point of wanting to walk out, and Hubs says he isn't, but I know that our marriage isn't as loving, friendly, or respectful as it should be. I don't want to raise our children feeling the tension I felt growing up.

My sister-in-law recommended "The Love Dare" and "Fireproof" to me. At first, I rolled my eyes a bit, but I've decided now is the time to give it a chance. I watched the movie on my own and I'm hoping to get Hubs to watch it with me. Unfortunately, I saw far too many things in the movie that mirrored our marriage. Between that and "the God factor" I'm not sure how Hubs will react to it.

The only thing I'm certain of is that I can not wait to start. If I do, I worry that I will reach a breaking point where I don't even want to read the book or do the dares. I really do want this to work. I want to enjoy my time with Hubs, I want him to enjoy his time with me.

I would love to hear from anyone who has done the dare, especially if your spouse wasn't "on board" with it. How did you get through? Did it help your marriage? How do you feel about your spouse now?

It's All About Something Deeper

This is the revelation I had yesterday. Lately, my blog has been filled with things I want to change about myself. My body, my outward image, the state of my house, and how we live, all of them need to change. I have been asked if I have a poor self-image since I appear unhappy with everything.  Honestly, I'm don't have a bad self-image, I like to think I have a pretty realistic one.  On the other hand, how would I feel about my life if I wasn't battling depression? Would I have the issues I have without the depression?

I am not in any way, shape, or form trying to blame depression for the problems I have. I know that these are the results of my own action or inaction.  I know that when I'm depressed, it's hard to eat right. Knowing that, I also know that I am capable of plowing through it.  (I'm not saying this about every personal with any sort of mental health issue, I'm saying it for myself from experience) I choose to stuff my face with everything that tastes good to me because I momentarily feel better.

When I'm in a "low" time, it feels like everything I have is going into taking care of the kids, and sometimes I really feel like I've done a crappy job of that.  It's like their basic needs are met, but nothing more.  Why?  I really wish I could be more engaged with them, but it's hard. I can't explain it, but it's like there are times I feel like I don't deserve them.

So, back to last night... As I cleaned my bedroom, disgusted by how bad it has gotten, I realized that it's another symptom of my depression rolling downhill. I have no energy for much of anything, so the concept of cleaning falls down on the priority list. And suddenly, I'm filling half of our dumpster with crap that is broken or we don't need (but it's not in any condition to pass on).

I figure I'm never going to impress anyone, so why go out of my way to look good?  I already have a husband, so it's not like I'm single and on the market. I have a job and I'm not looking for a new one, so it's not like I need to impress anyone there either. The funny thing? I've felt more alive since I started consciously picking out outfits for the next day, not letting my hair air dry, and putting on a little make up.

Exercising has really helped me start to come out of the haze I was in. I proved to myself that I can make it through the workouts and I can force myself to press start on days when I don't want to. So now, I'm still going to make a point to exercise daily, but I need to prioritize. If my exercising winds up being a walk to the park with my family, I'm going to be okay with that. I still want to finish the 30 Day Shred, but I need to make sure I'm not putting off more important things for it. And dragging bag after bag from my apartment to the car or dumpster should count as exercise since there are 2 flights of stairs, right?

Blogging and making bloggy friends has taught me that it's okay to be vulnerable. When you put yourself out there, it can be scary, but it can show you how NOT alone you are. I think that's something important right now.

Battling Clutter From Another Angle

The other night, I came across a post about reinventing yourself on Adrian's Crazy Life. From the word go, she started to hit the nail on the head when it came to me! Yes, my house is a cluttered disaster.  To use an acronym from Flylady, who I don't listen to nearly as much as I should, I live in CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome).  I nearly panic at the thought of company, even my great friend who desperately needs a place to get away from time to time!

I decided to listen to Adrian and I picked up some mascara and eye shadow yesterday.  The funny thing is, I really do feel better today.  I don't see the tired eyes and frizzy hair when I look in the mirror.  Since I was putting on some make up, I couldn't exactly let my hair air dry. I'm going to try doing this every day, even when I am just putting on a bandanna (my solution to having to cover my hair but hating to wear ball caps). Last night, I even imagined myself finding some cute earrings that I could wear to work since my hair isn't visible.

The strangest thing is that last night, I stayed up until 2am starting to declutter my bedroom.  I don't want to admit how bad it is in there, but it's BAD!  I started with my dresser.  I don't even like going in there because I hate so many articles of clothing.  The drawers were essentially a mass grave for clothes I would never wear.  So why hold on to them?

I grabbed two garbage bags, one for donation and the other for things that I can't even stand to donate (old bras, underwear, haggard shirts that no one would wear).  After that, I started on my "walk-in closet" known as the bedroom floor.  Yes, I'm a slob who had clothes all over the floor.  I'm still working on it, but already, my room is a more peaceful place.  All of the clothes I've gathered so far will be on their way to a new home via Freecycle in about an hour.  How awesome is it to help someone else out, get rid of clutter and not have to leave home??

All of this because I made the decision that I want to start looking better! It's true, when you start getting a piece of your life in order, the others start to make more sense!

A Coat of Paint for my Blog

When I started my blog, I couldn't find a stock theme that I fell in love with. So, as a reward for spending less money on soda (almost none) I took the leap and sent a design request to Kelsey of Kreated by Kelsey. 

I'm beyond in love with the way my blog looks now!  She did a great job and she was very understanding when I couldn't wrap my head around whether or not I wanted anything changed. I chose a bad time (for me) to order a design and some people would have gotten upset, but not Kelsey!

If you're in the market for a custom look, I definitely recommend her!

My First Giveaway!

In honor of my hometown Badgers skating for the NCAA championship tomorrow, UBP 2010, and my impending blog redesign, I've decided it's time for a giveaway! 

How do you decide what to do as a giveaway? Since I'm still relatively new, I don't have emails flooding my inbox begging me to review products (which, by the way, I'd be more than happy to do!) and I don't have a business of my own to give things away from, I looked to a friend.

Sarah from Bow Beauties is one of my dearest friends. We were in a youth orchestra together as kids, wound up working for the same formalwear store as young adults, and then she met her Prince Charming and moved about as far away from here as she could!  Really, it's not as bad as it sounds, but dang it, Portland is just so far from Wisconsin!

One lucky winner is going to receive a pair of 2 color Korker bows in whatever colors you think your little girl just has to have!

To gain your first entry, visit Bow Beauties and leave a comment telling me what your favorite product is on their site.

Please be sure to leave your email address in comments so I can contact you when you win!
For additional entries (please comment for each entry):

1. Follow my blog
2. Join the Bow Beauties Facebook Page.
3. Follow me on Twitter @madareamama (don't forget to tweet about this giveaway to all of your friends!)
4. Write a blog post about this giveaway and leave a link to the post for 2 extra entries.

Contest will be open until the evening of April 14th.  At that time, I will choose a random winner and email the winner to find out their color choices. If the winner doesn't respond in 48 hours, I will choose a new winner.

Jillian Has Many Talents!

(Day 7 total, workout day 5)

Tonight, I needed a bit more "low key" workout because we got home late, so I threw in my new "Yoga Meltdown" DVD.  Yes, it says "meltdown", the cover claims you can lose up to 5 pounds per week, and it has Jillian's face on the cover.  You would think this would be enough warning that there was a beating coming my way, but NOOOO, I figured it'd be a bit easier on me as well as quieter for the sleeping teen below me.

Well, I'm sure it was quiet for him.  As for me, I cursed at Jillian Michaels more during this DVD than I did the first time I put in "30 Day Shred". I also was drenched in sweat, surprising for a yoga workout! 

For a beginner, this workout is a bit brutal.  You'll definitely get a workout, but if you're not used to working out or you're not familiar with yoga poses, you will probably struggle.   Well, I hope you do, otherwise it's just me, and that'd make me cry!  If you're not used to yoga, I definitely think it would be beneficial to watch it before starting so you have some clue of what you're doing.  I found it hard to keep an eye on the screen and do the poses correctly.

I am going to take a couple of days off from Shred so I can get used to this, then I will probably combine the two, alternating days. 

30 Day Shred - Day 6

Seriously??  Can I really be up to Day 6 already?  Okay, so in "workout" days I'm on day 4, but I'm trying to see what I achieve in both 30 calendar days and 30 workouts, so Day 6 sounds much better!

I realized tonight why some people curse Jillian from day one.  I didn't have weights until tonight!  Who knew what a difference two pounds in each hand could make. 

Like always, I was imagining that I would fall over dead about minute 8 tonight. But tonight, by the start of the 2nd circuit, I was getting into it.  I think it's partly because I loathe push-ups and you get to punch (air) in the 2nd circuit.

By the end, I was dripping sweat tonight.  I didn't cheat out, I gave it everything I had and then some.

As for soda/water intake, maybe we should go there!  After about 3 hours of sleep last night, I was pouring whatever caffeine I could find down my throat today. Unfortunately, that wound up being a 20 ounce bottle and 2 (or was it 3?) cans of Mt Dew.  On the flip side, I am just finishing up my gallon of water and may drink one more quart before bed.

Let's Get This Party Started!! UBP '10

UBP time has to be one of my favorite times of year in the blogosphere! In past years, I've made some great friends while partying from blog to blog, I hope to do so again this year!

So, a little about me... (have you ever noticed how hard writing about yourself can be? Am I alone?) Well, I'm Heather, a 32 year old mom of...

Bubs who will be one in May

 and

Bug who will be five in July.
(at least someone can rock this shirt... I swear, it's huge on her and goes way past her knees! It's an adult XL)

You'll also see me refer to Hubs, that's the other half.  It seemed to go well with Bubs since they share a first name. Besides the crazy bunch in our little apartment, I work with a friend from high school. We have a catering company/food cart operation as well as a new venture, Baking Magic for Kids, where we help small groups that support ill children and their families organize fundraisers.

Recently, I realized how unhappy I was with my life.  I decided it was time for changes.  You can read about some of those changes here. In addition to trying to be kinder to our health and the Earth, I recently started 30 Day Shred from Jillian Michaels and I'm blogging about it to stay motivated.  It really sucks to have to tell the world when I miss a day (or two in this first week) but it has helped me try to avoid missing days.

I hope you'll stay a while!  If you like what you see, be sure to comment and I'll be sure to visit you to return the love!  Happy partying!

Prizes I'm in love with:
Well, I really want the grand prize, so just email me and I'll give you my address!  You can't do that?  Well then...

US Only
39- Be My Guest Certificate
43- Get Out! and Frugal Foodie books

77, 69, 64, 62

US/Canada
47- Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life
17- $200 Apple Gift Card
18- 3 Book set
39- Paypal Transfer

My Ugly Truth

This is me.  All 238.2 pounds of me.  Do I like putting that number out here for the world to see?  Not a chance! But I'm hoping that by putting it out there, I will have a bit more accountability for sticking with my changes in food choices, switching to water instead of soda, and working out.

I have never been thin.  Well, I did own one dress that was a size 14 that fit for about a week, but that's as small as I've ever been as an adult. I don't know that I ever will BE thin, it's something most people in our family never achieve.  All I know is I never want to look like this again.

I can remember being "the fat kid" growing up.  It sucked. A LOT! Now, my daughter is almost five years old, going off to kindergarten in the fall.  If I don't do something to change my habits, I'm not doing anything to change hers, and there is a good chance she will suffer the same bullying I faced as a child.  Almost 30 years later, I still carry those scars with me. I want her to look back and have happy memories of growing up, not negative feelings about her classmates because of the names she was called and the fact that she was never accepted.

Not only do I not want her to be "the fat kid", I really don't want to be "the fat mom".  Kids suck sometimes. A child with overweight parents still gets teased because of how their family looks. So, with five months to go before her first day of school, I started my journey.  I don't expect to be done in that time, but I hope to feel better.

Oh, and the shirt I'm wearing, I am beyond ticked that it doesn't fit!  Seriously, I want to scream at myself for it! I started reading Bake & Destroy after Natalie was a judge on "Cupcake Wars" on Food Network.  I LOVE the name of her blog and she has some awesome goodies for sale!  When she posted that she was down to the last red shirt, I emailed her and scooped it up. Imagine the roller coaster of it coming in the mail and then trying it on only to see it look like this!  I WILL be able to wear this shirt to work by the end of the summer.  I hope to wear it much earlier, but as long as I can wear it, I'll be happy!

Mother Nature is a Vile Woman!

Last week, it was over 80 degrees.  Earlier this week, it was almost 70.  Today, the high will be 42.  Add on top of that two rainy days followed by a night of snow, and work today is BRUTAL! 

For those who don't know, I operate a lunch time food cart. We're night quite as dedicated as the Postal Service, we don't operate in lightning, but we do operate in all other conditions.  Today, I have on a long sleeve shirt, my UW sweatshirt (go Badgers hockey!), and Crocs.  Why Crocs?  Because with everything that happened last night, I was too tired to dig out my boots this morning.  Luckily, I parked my car right in front of the cart (which I'm watching like a hawk to avoid the evil parking enforcement cop who I think watches for meters to turn red so she can race to them.  (I stand corrected, it's apparently an equally eager male parking cop) Because I have my car and it's directly in front of me, I was able to steal Bubs' blanket and wrap my feet in it.

Like a kid in school, I see the clock and I'm counting the minutes until my release from this frigid hell.  Somewhere, there is a cup of coffee with my name on it.  And tonight, I'm thinking I will splurge on a six pack (which will probably wind up being used primarily for brats) and curling up with a good movie.  On second thought, I have to get my backside back on track and keep my date with Jillian.  Damn her!

Yes, I'm Angry!

Last night, I called Hubs to let him know they were calling for snow.  He was going to a friend's house after work and was going to have a 40 mile commute home. Imagine my surprise when I woke up at 4am and he wasn't home!

So, after getting Bubs settled down (come on, you think I was up at 4am without a wake up call???) I called Hubs. He was about 4 miles from home and let me know to be careful on the side roads coming home.  He then tells me I need to check his head when he gets home because he's pretty sure that he was knocked out "for a bit" when he went off the road!!

My first thought was how much more serious this could have been.  He could have called me from the hospital.  I could have had a police officer contact me. He could have still been on the side of the road when I called him.  But he wasn't.  And that's when anger started settling in.

I'm angry that he didn't come home earlier, before the roads got slick.  It's not like it was a shocker that it was coming.  I'm angry that he was out so late because he watches Bubs during the day and because of this, I'm probably going to wind up taking Bubs in to work with me. Not like I plan on Hubs watching him on 2 hours of sleep. I'm angry that he feels somewhat invincible driving on slick roads because he learned to drive in Minnesota. I'm angry that he doesn't feel I have any right to be angry about any of these things, starting with this could have been so much worse! 

So, here I sit at 4:30 in the morning, trying to work through my feelings.  I'm not a morning person, I'd much rather be curled in my bed with one or both of my men sleeping next to me. And worse, I feel like a total bitch because I haven't gotten past it. I feel like a horrible wife because I didn't react "like I should have". Oy, it's going to be a long day!

30 Day Shred - Day 5

Crap, my routine got screwed up and now I'm sitting at 60% success!  We wound up having a playdate tonight that went WAY later than I had hoped. And I found out this morning that my downstairs neighbor's son sleeps in the front room, directly over where I workout.  So, I'm not going to run the risk of waking him, I will simply use this opportunity to see if I can switch to morning workouts.

One thing I need to remember is that yes, I want to exercise and I want to get in shape, but I need to keep priorities straight.  Today, a friend was in dire need of a shoulder to cry on and all of our kids are stir crazy from the rain we've had this week.  I did feel guilty as my kids' normal bedtime approached and we were still there, but Bubs fell asleep in my arms and the older kids were watching a movie. I was there for my friend when she needed me. As long as I still make being more active a priority, I will be better off.  I can NOT allow my desire to do 30 Day Shred to consume me to the point where I'm not a person I want to be.  I'd much rather be fat and a good friend than skinny and viewed as the woman who won't miss a workout no matter who needs some time.

On the positive side, my water intake was GREAT today!  And my eating wasn't nearly as bad as it could be seeing as I stared at pie, cupcakes, cookies, and all sorts of other good treats most of the day!

Some People Have Pets, I Have This...

This is my latest pet project, one I'm more and more proud of with each day that passes.  Much like a pet, it requires love and attention daily.  If I don't tend to my "collection", I'm not sure what would happen, maybe nothing, maybe something disastrous, but I know it's worth nurturing.

Over the past few weeks, I've become a little freakish about what we're eating. Thanks to an evil discovery involving a loaf of MONTH old bread with no mold, baking our own healthy, preservative free bread became an obsession.

After the success of my wheat bread (with the only complaint being that it needed more honey which I used the last of on the bread) I wanted to branch out.  Next was hot cross buns for Good Friday breakfast, followed by wheat dinner rolls and Amish white bread on Easter. Still not satisfied with my knowledge, I started researching sourdough starters.

There is a site called Sourdough Home that is a fountain of knowledge for creating sourdough. Hoping to be a "sourdough purist", I followed Mike's way of starting a sourdough starter, the measuring cup in my picture.  Four days later, it's doing great!

Being a worrywart, I also found a starter that used yeast (which I call my cheater starter) shown in the bowl in the middle.  This starter is also doing quite well and will be ready to use soon. 

These two have completely different smells at this stage of the game because the "cheater" was started with yeast while the other was simply started with flour and water.  It will be interesting to make a batch of each to taste the difference!  I'm hoping to do that sometime next week and will definitely post my results. 

On the left is a bag filled with Amish Friendship starter.  I can remember my mom receiving bags of starter and making some wonderful fruity breads with them.  I'm hoping to do the same and I have friends waiting for their share of it as soon as it's ready.

So, my friends have dogs and cats, I have my various containers of starter. Every night, I uncover them, feed them, and give them a vigorous stir to make sure they  have enough air to grow properly.  I'm still slightly worried that one of these times they will grow out of their containers and I'll have a dripping mess, but hopefully I'm doing a good job of watching them and I will move them to bigger containers as needed.

And Now It's Time For...

Being a blogger, I love reading blogs almost as much as writing mine. That being said, I hate going to a blog and seeing that the only thing going on is blog hops and memes.  Don't get me wrong, I love blog hopping as much as the next blogger gal, but I don't want to get to know you through special features alone!

Yes, it's a good way to get your visits up, but is it a good way to develop a relationship with others?  It is, in moderation. If you have witty post-its on Tuesday or wonderful pictures on Wednesday, I guarantee I am going to go searching for more.  If all I find is a forced series of memes, I will close the window.

So please, don't force it to be time for anything. Allow it to be time for social functions if you so choose.  Otherwise, do what you started the blog for.  If you started it as a way to show pictures, let me see what you've got.  If you started it to rant about your family, I think we can all relate.  Take a minute to get back to basics and maybe turn off your stat counter for a while!

/rant

Wordless Wednesday - Just ONE, please?!

AND FINALLY...

Some days, this is the best you can ask for!

30 Day Shred - Day 4

You know the wonderful thing about kids? They make wonderful excuses to NOT exercise!  Oops, Bug made a huge mess on the floor, can't work out tonight!  The good thing about having a goal?  I was able to push past it, pick up the mess, and make my date with Jillian!

Today was my 3rd workout in 4 days.  I still struggled a bit with the push ups and the crunches hurt like no one's business, but I made it through!  Sure, minutes five through about ten seemed like hours, but after that, I pushed through knowing that it'd be over soon enough. I'm actually looking forward to tomorrow and I've decided that this is a good nightly routine.  Get the kids in bed, relax for a few, workout, blog, shower, and go to bed.

I took my "before" picture today and will post that later this week.  I almost feel bad because the shirt I'm wearing is from a completely amazing blogger.  I wanted the shirt for a long time and finally ordered it when she said she had one left.  Imagine the let down when I got it and it was too small!  I even bought a bandana that would rock with it since I often wear them when I'm working.  It's okay, give me a month and I'll be posting pics in that same outfit, but won't be ashamed to wear it outside!

Post-It Note Tuesday #2

30 Day Shred - Day 3

This counts only as day 3 because I'm trying to see what changes happen in 30 consecutive days. I have an issue with my ribs that flares up from time to time.  Last night was one of those times.  When it flares up I'm nearly doubled over in pain, not something that's conducive to working out, especially with Jillian leading!

Today, I'm feeling better and I'm actually looking forward to working out after the kids are in bed. 

I will not feel guilty, for guilt leads to quitting. I will stay focused on my goal and hope that the "off days" are few and far between!

And We Have a CSA!!!

Today is an awesomely geeky exciting day! We are signed up for a CSA for the summer!  Not only that, but in exchange for working at the farm each week, I will earn our share rather than having to pay for it.

Being on a limited budget, buying a CSA share for the summer was out of reach.  Maybe this year I will be able to save up in case working for it is too much on top of the kids, home work, and work work.  But for now, there was no way to find hundreds of extra dollars!

Bug and I went out to the farm after work and school. I think we both learned a lot! She got to see where eggs come from and that they look just the same as the ones we get in a box at the store. She even helped gather until the basket got too heavy for her!  Next, we got to pick some spinach (who knew spinach can grow year round in WI given the right conditions) and weeds. Bug got a lesson in using a "farm voice" from the owners. Next, the adults continued weeding and we sent her to feed the goats. I thought for sure she would freak out, but not only did she feed the goats, she also made the horses happy by feeding them carrots!


Now, we're both dirty and tired, but excited for what the summer holds for us!  I really need to shake her of the totally unreasonable fear I used to have that farm fresh wouldn't hold the same quality as store bought. I think we got part of it out of her today.

30 Day Shred - Day 2

No, I didn't weenie out and only do half of the workout tonight, I just don't feel like doing .5 every night!

Who in the world decided entering a relationship with Jillian Michaels on Easter weekend was a good idea?  Oh yeah, that was me!  Seriously, I worked out last night and ate Easter breakfast at church.  I tried to control my portions, but I have no clue what was in half of the stuff I ate and as good as it tasted (and given the fact that it was made by church ladies) I can't imagine it was healthy! 

As if that wasn't bad enough, I then ate Easter dinner with Hubs and the kids.  Stupid me, I put enough on my plate to feed me and Bubs.  Guess who decided he wasn't particularly hungry.  Guess who had a clean plate when she finished the meal.

I'm not sure if putting bread in the oven immediately before putting 30 Day Shred in the DVD player was a wise move or an insanely stupid one.  On the one hand, I knew that the bread would be done about the same time as my workout.  On the other hand, it was tempting to stop the DVD so I could check my bread.  Not only that, but guess who started all of this after 8pm, so I can't even enjoy a piece of my handiwork!

So, I made it through the workout.  Cinderella committed suicide (our Christmas tree topper that's on the entertainment center now) because of jumping jacks, but I made it.  I won't say it was easier, only because my body aches from making it do stuff other than watching TV or surfing the internet (okay, not quite that bad, but still...).  Eight more days and I'll see about moving up to level 2.  We'll see...

In other news, I'm sitting at about 100 ounces of water for the day.  For someone who used to drink NO water, that's pretty good!  Not only that, but when I didn't have my water bottle (thanks, Bug) and wasn't constantly sipping, I realized how thirsty I was.  I've gotten over the missing water bottle in favor of a big plastic glass.  For now, it'll have to do!

Food Week Wrap-up

I didn't get a chance to blog quite as much as I had hoped about trying to change our food habits, but with any luck, I'll keep working on it and find some time.  That way, years from now, I can come back and see how far I've come!

I'll call this week a 50/50 draw.  I didn't do as well as I hoped, but I did cook more than I used to and when I did, I didn't pull out a Hamburger Helper once, a bad habit I've gotten into over the past decade.

One night, we had pizza.  This is the ultimate cheap meal for us because Hubs manages a pizza place.  I had to pick Bubs up from him at work and he made pizza since it adds about 40 miles total to my drive.  The good thing, I know exactly what they use because I used to work for the same company.

Another night, I wound up getting the dreaded arches.  I forgot my keys and forgot to get them from Hubs when he dropped Bubs off to me, so I added over an hour to my evening commute (I was close to home when I realized what I had done).  It was easier to drive thru than to deal with late bedtime.  The interesting thing, I HATED IT!  Seriously, how did I live off such crap for so long?

Thursday, we had limited time because we had church.  I consciously chose to drive thru a different place that had a bit healthier (but still not healthy) options.  I even hated that!  I'm starting to like cooking at home, controlling how things are seasoned, etc.

And today, Hubs' good intentions are falling just a touch flat.  He's not as into (read, not at all) reading labels as I am.  He picked up a "ham" for dinner tonight since we didn't have a family feast at lunch.  It's a "ham and water product" with up to 35% weight in added products.  WOWZERS!!!  I'm not bringing it up to him right this minute because I know it will sour the evening, but dang!  To balance that out, we're having fresh carrots, mashed potatoes, and homemade wheat dinner rolls.

Even though my choices weren't as great as I would like, I think it's a success because the times I faltered taught me a valuable lesson.

Oh, and for a bonus point, I've almost totally converted from soda to water!  We were huge soda lovers, but it's not healthy in so many ways.  I still can't get Hubs on board to change his ways, but I can control what I drink.  And now that I'm not drinking it, Bug is asking for water more than anything else!  Double score!

Getting to Know You #2

Thanks again to Keely at Mann Land 5 for hosting a great weekend blog hop! I'm looking forward to hopping around on this Easter Sunday to meet other bloggers.  Leave me a comment and I'll be sure to check out your blog.

1. Showers or baths?
Showers, no question about it!  I'm weird about most bath tubs, so it's just not relaxing for me.  Someday, I hope to have a house with a tub that hasn't been used by anyone but me and my family and hopefully I will be able to enjoy soaking with a good book!

2. Do you have any crazy urges?
Depends on what you consider a crazy urge. I get sudden, sporadic urges to clean, mostly if I'm anxious or angry.

3. What is one thing we don't know about you?
Hmmm, just one? How about a HUGE shameful admission?  I still have my Christmas tree up!  It's not that I'm a Christmas fanatic, it's more that I was raised by one and there were some things that stayed up year round so it's not odd to me.  I'm thinking today may be the day it has to come down!

4. Exercise..love it or hate it?
A little of both.  Once I'm in the swing of doing it, I love it.  Right now (just starting out) it's still a chore.  Hopefully once the energy level and strength increase I will forget the loathing.

5. Do you think you have a good body image?
Yes and no.  I'm comfortable in my own skin, I just wish there was less of it.  I don't want to be "skinny", I just want to be healthy.  My goal is to get down to a size 12 so I can't shop at Lane Bryant anymore.  I love them, but how great would it be to walk past knowing everything there is too big?

6. Flour or corn tortillas?
Depends on what they're being used for.  Most of the time, we use flour, but I'm trying to switch to corn.

7. How do you celebrate Easter?
We used to go about an hour north of home to celebrate with our huge extended family. Then it was just my grandparents, their kids and us grandkids. This year, we aren't getting together with the family, I think we're going to start claiming this holiday for "just us" and watch movies, eat popcorn, and have a nice dinner tonight.

8. Hard boiled Easter eggs or plastic eggs?
Plastic for hunting, when we do it. Didn't boil eggs this year because I'm the only one who eats them.
 
Looking for something to do today?  Want to get to know other bloggers?  Be sure to stop by Mann Land 5 and sign in to the McLinky!

The Easter Grinch

Here I sit, at 11:30 on the night before Easter, uncertain whether the Easter Bunny will pay our home a visit or not.  If I had my way, I don't think he would, but the hubs is at a movie with a friend and mentioned going to pick up Easter Bunny treats when they're done.  He was going based on what I had said earlier, before I had a revelation, so it's not like a battle between the parents.

You see, Hubs isn't a religious person.  This wasn't an issue in the past and it's not a huge issue now, but I've changed and grown recently.  He doesn't see an issue with the Easter Bunny or Santa, but I'm developing one.

Why is it that when we celebrate the two most important holidays in the Christian faith, we also play a game with our children where we lead them to believe that mythical creatures are going to pay a visit to them and bring them things?  As adults, we all know that the day will come when they no longer believe in the big man and the bunny, so why do we go down that road at all?

And if we lead them to believe that Easter Bunny and Santa are real and they later learn they aren't, isn't it possible that that may lead them to question whether Jesus is real?  I know it may be a stretch, but if you think about it, why are we lying to them about the existence of certain people at the exact time we should be teaching them about the reality and importance of Him?

It'll be interesting to see if Hubs comes hopping in with baskets for the kids in the middle of the night.

30 Day Shred - Day 1.5

Yesterday, I decided to pick up Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred based on the rave reviews and successes my "mommy group" girls have been posting on FB.  I was actually looking for a bathroom scale (which I never found) and saw that the DVD was on sale.

Last night, after Bubs was asleep and Bug was in the bath, I threw the DVD in.  About seven agonizing minutes in, a friend feverishly texting me and Bug screaming to get out of the bath forced (okay, allowed) my finger to hit the stop button.  I seriously wondered what I was doing trying to go from 0 to 60 in a split second after the warm up and the first circuit.

Tonight, I changed into exercise clothes, said a prayer (no, really, I prayed for the strength to get through it!), and hit start.  After the first circuit, I wanted to quit and "try again tomorrow" but I plowed through.  After the second circuit, I was getting tired, but kept on trucking because I knew it would be over soon.  By the end of the third, I was damned proud of myself.  I DID IT!  All my 240ish pounds made it through!

Yes, I just admitted it.  I have WAY more than the 18 pounds it seems like most of the internet is trying to lose.  Like I said, I never did find that scale, so I can't give a starting weight or know exactly where I'm at.  For now, I'll say that I'm in a "tight 18W" jeans.  I'll take a pic in my jeans that started fitting right before I got pregnant with Bubs and post it soon, along with the t-shirt that motivated me to get down to business about my weight loss.  Hopefully, they'll both fit better in a month! 

Such an Exciting Meal!!

This may be my favorite meal of the week.  Are you ready???  Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches!!! 

Why is this my favorite meal?  Because the peanut butter is all natural.  Seriously, the only ingredient in this stuff is peanuts, nothing else.  At first, I wasn't sure I was going to like it.  Do you have any clue how little peanut taste is in most commercial peanut butters?

The next reason it's my favorite meal... Homemade strawberry jam.  Last summer, Bug and I went strawberry picking for the first time and I made a bunch of freezer jam.  With as much of a hit as it's been over the winter and into spring, I think I'll be making MUCH more of it this year!

And the final reason this is my favorite meal... Homemade bread!  I know I posted about making wheat bread earlier this week, but this is the first "meal" we've used it for.  Most of the bread has been eaten solo, as a snack.

Who knew that something as simple as a PBJ could make me smile so much?!  I am just totally in love with the fact that I made a meal that is mostly homemade and contains no words I can't pronounce in the ingredient list!

Friday Follow

What the heck, Bug is at her Nana's this morning, the house is quiet, and I'm enjoying coffee.  That sounds like the perfect time to join Friday Follow and find some new blogs!

If you got to my blog from the follow, thanks for stopping by!  I can't wait to check out the new blogs today!  If you didn't get here from the Friday Follow McLinky, click on the picture and you'll be taken to the McLinky and you can find some new blogs too!

(please excuse any part of this post that seems as if it was written by my four year old.  I've only had one cup of coffee and it's a SMALL cup today!)

Five Questions Friday #1

 1. Do you sing out loud in the car when you're driving?
Yep.  And occasionally, I dance too!  There are some songs you can't help but sing to and the car is the perfect place!  I also enjoy putting on kids music and singing loudly with Bug.

2. What would you never be caught doing?
Hmmm, that's a hard one!  Does wearing a two piece swimsuit count?  And actually, that's not true either because they now make some very conservative ones for plus sizes that are great for those of us who aren't a uniform size on top and bottom.  But a two piece that shows skin, NEVER!!!

3. Will you go #2 in a public restroom?
I try not to, but I have IBS, so sometimes it becomes a necessity.

4. Have you ever broken a bone?
Just a thumb from sledding.  I've been told I have very strong bones, so I guess that's a good thing!

5. Do you prefer cooking or baking?
Not sure.  I truly enjoy both.  I think it depends on my mood a bit.  Right now, I'm in more of a baking mood, but sometimes baking seems to take more effort and attention than I have!

Please check out Mama M's blog and see how others answered these questions.